It turns out my Laptop doesn't... *sigh*.... doesn't actually HAVE a pcmcia slot. Instead, it has an "ExpressCard" slot, which look a helluva lot similar to pcmcia, but I assure you, it is not. Imagine my dismay when I opened up my D-Link network adapter only to find I'd ordered the wrong thing. The darned thing even slides all the way in the way it should, minus the satisfying "Ok, I'm fully plugged in" clicking sound.
Bottom Line: Do your research on hardware! If you don't know your computer specs (to the MINUTEST DETAIL), you will
experience trouble on your Linux tour, let alone your general computer tour.
On the upside, I've gotten WoW, Guild Wars, and Steam to all run under Wine. Granted these programs do not run without flaw, but it certainly is a feather for the cap of the fine people over at WineHQ